By Savana Di Quinzio
The scene that I have chosen to work with is the one where Anna loses her virginity to Walter. I chose this scene, because I thought that it would be a greatly interpreted in the medium of a poem. This is where Anna loses all of her innocence and truly embarks on her horrid journey. This scene speaks throughout the novel and really sets the tone in which Anna’s life is told. I want to focus on the aftermath of the milestone she overcame and really explore how it made her feel instantly.
I chose to write a poem simply because I love to write them. As a child, I would write all sorts of little poems that I later interpreted into songs. Basically, I write lyrics, which correspond to a modern form of poetry. I decided to go with what I knew would let me express the most out of this scene and really tell a message.
A poem is perfect, I find, to express what the reader might be experiencing when reading this novel. Throughout my poem, I direct my inquiries to Anna, as if I am speaking to her as a reader. I give her my advice and my perspective on her situation knowing exactly what is going on. This reflect what one might be feeling and wondering when reading Jean Rhys’ writing. It also focuses on the darkness surrounding the loss of her virginity and how she feels about it; she has always known this was her fate. This really reflects the tone and the mood of the novel, which basically involve darkness, hatred, self-loathing, and other aspects related to misery and pain.
In my work, I try to focus on the fact that Anna seems to be deciding her own fate rather than choosing it. It shows how hurt and troubled she really is inside and and how she really does not like herself. Choosing this sort of path and telling herself that she always knew somehow that she would never amount to anything more shows how broken Anna is. To choose to live a life like this since it is impossible for you to ever imagine aspiring to more is what I focused my poem on.
I experienced trouble when interpreting how Anna really feels when she goes through with loosing her virginity and mentions that she knew she would end up like this. I feel like it was hard to capture her true feelings towards her future since it was not explicitly written that she does not aspire to anything more than what she thinks she is destined to. Although this was a problem I had, I manage to interpret her feelings in my own perception as a reader and translate it into a poem.
I feel like my work really captures the essence of the novel, and most particularly Anna’s mood throughout her journey. The novel is written in such a dark way and Anna’s views and feelings are told in such a painful and miserable manner. The poem reflects how Anna’s journey begins on a very horrid note and really marks the mood of how her life with turn out. Anna’s pain and suffering is expressed throughout the poem as it is explicitly felt within the novel. It also speaks to her from a reader’s point of view and it expresses what we might have captured from her actions and narration. My poem is also composed of talking to her and trying to wonder why she chooses this path and how she should learn to love herself, in order to pursue happiness and better aspirations.
“Of course you’ve always known,
and then you forget so utterly,
except that you’ve always known it.
how long is always” (32)
Dear Pure Anna,
to always know the future
is to have decided one’s fate.
Why was it so?
taken away by such horrid event.
A despicable man,
one you so loathingly blame.
for those you waited.
Tell me Sweet Anna,
Why was it so?
Faith in oneself
Decisions by which you suffer
originate from within.
Undeniably wishing for the pain,
we are no fools,
Consequences you have welcomed.
One may wonder,
is this truly due to fate?
Self-inflicted prophecy, we perceive.
Easier, might it be
to accept your future
through prediction and validation.
I assure you my dear Anna,
the path you embark on
will forever change you.
Ruling towards acceptance,
believing your worthlessness;
the start of a dark journey.
Slowly losing your soul
to what your future holds,
you walk through a cold and lonely city
with darkness at your side.
Forever tearing you away from home,
the light for which you long,
slowly leading towards obscurity.
The decadent slippery slope,
onto which you are embarking,
ripping you furthermore from
everything good to you.
Oh dear Anna,
Why is it so?
The question remains
Why is it so?
The pain you put yourself through,
the horror you have chosen for a life,
Why is it so?
You deserve much more,
you are more than just a pretty thing
for men to play around with.
believe you are destined for greater things,
a better life will follow.
It is easy to accept failure and detriment,
but it is a lonely and painful pursuit of happiness.
Yearning for higher ideals,
although harder to achieve,
will get you closer to self-contentment.
Trial and error,
such a noble knowledge,
though hard to acquire
since it involves wanting.
You are scared of failure,
which prevents you from aiming higher
and allows you to settle for pain.
Anna, you are worth it.